Scientific Protocol
by spearprison
Summary: [One-Shot] Raven catches his younger "leader" taking care of some manly 'business' and sets out to explain that there's a time and place for that... except a scientist overhears their conversation and completely misses the point. Rated T juuuust in case.


I did a bunch of PvP today, and not too long before I decided to log out, I got this idea and I had to write it. I'm not sorry.  
**Characters:** Add (MM), Raven (VC), Elsword (LK). 

* * *

"Okay, Elsword. I don't mean to embarrass you. We're friends, and I'm... older than you, so I figure it's about time we discussed this, man to man." Raven sighed, carding a hand through his hair. He once commanded a band of mercenaries under the rule of Velder, but the thought of explaining the 'urge' to his younger teammate made the Veteran Commander nervous. Elsword was like a brother to him, so it's shouldn't be as difficult as he was trying to make it, but the redhead was also still a kid, and kids tended to ask way too many questions. Not that he had no intention of answering them, but...

The Lord Knight was red in the face. He'd been caught in the act, having forgotten his room door was cracked. A worried Raven had wandered in, sword at the ready, and Els wasn't gonna forget the hurried clean up after the unexpected surprise. He didn't respond at first, and was actually surprised Raven wasn't mad. His sister had gotten mad at him for it once, but that was a long, long time ago. "...a-all right," he answered after a significant pause. Raven didn't push him to reply.

The Vet Com sighed again. "You see, Elsword, there's a time and place for everything. You picked a great time and an even better place, but there are certain precautions you have to take..."

Add rounded the corner suddenly, curious as to what the conversation was about. "Eh? What's going on in here?"

Raven turned to him. "I was just talking to Elsword about taking care to make sure he doesn't end up hurting himself in a ru-"

"You know, if you're gonna do that sort of thing, you should definitely be careful." The Mastermind's eyes locked onto the Lord Knight, their gaze stern and steady.

Elsword started sweating a little under the pressure. "H-huh?"

"Tch. I mean, if you're gonna do some experimentation, the least you could do is make sure you follow proper safety protocols! Do you ever see me experimenting without my goggles and apron on? Hell no. If you're accidentally blow yourself up, the least you can do is make it so that I don't have to get myself dirty cleaning your remains up." Add conjured up a screen with the help of two of his dynamos. It displayed a pair of thick goggles, a rubber-looking apron, and rubber gloves. "See these? These are very important when it comes to making sure you stay safe while you science a thing. You have to wear these in a lab at all times, and I actually have a safety clearance system set up in my lab; I'm not letting anyone, including Eve, waltz into my territory without one of these three items on, let alone all three of them. There are highly corrosive materials in there, ones you wouldn't even pour onto the meanest of demons; do you really wanna know how fast they'd melt through your skin? So fast I wouldn't even be able to blink before you were dead." Elsword swallowed thickly. "Yeeeah. You should make sure you're wearing long sleeves, as well. I need to keep it cold in there since some materials require lower temperatures to stay solid. You know how mercury has a low boiling point?" The Knight nodded. Add hummed in agreement. "Yes. You have to make sure you're safe when you do that sort of thing, all right? You sister dislikes me as it is, and while I don't particularly care about what she thinks of me, I'd much rather her not blame me for something stupid you decided you were gonna do." Add dismissed the screen and looked to Raven. "I think that about covers everything. Do you have something to add, Raven?"

"He was masturbating, Add."

The Mastermind blinked. "Huh?"

Elsword covered his face, and Raven crossed his arms, sighing yet again. "I caught him masturbating, not violating your precious scientific safety."

For a few moments, Add didn't react. He blinked slowly, gawking at Raven, before pressing his lips into a fine line. To his credit, he looked away, blushing harder than Elsword. "...oh."


End file.
